If you get the opportunity to observe a traditional Vietnamese wedding ceremony, you will notice that it differs in many ways from those of Westerners, for preparations, but also during and after the ceremony.

Rituals differ among ethnic groups. Vietnamese culture has been significantly influenced by Chinese culture, which is why there are some similarities in their wedding ceremonies.

In families respecting traditional values, parents have the final say on the choice of their child’s partner.  Most of the time, the matched partners do not know each other before the wedding, hence the very important role of the matchmaker who acts as the intermediary between the two families. 

To inform the girl’s family that a young man would like to marry her, his family will send a letter and presents via the matchmaker.
Then, a second letter with more presents will be sent by the family of the suitor  to ask for the full name and date of birth of the girl, while providing the same information about the young man.

Once the information is known, the horoscopes of the young people will by studied by both families to determine their compatibility and set a date for the wedding ceremony.

A rite in front of the altars of each family will keep the ancestors informed of the future wedding.

At the engagement, the suitor’s family goes to the fiancee bringing presents in an even number of red boxes: jewels, two red candles and a sum of money which corresponds to the participation of the suitor’s family in the wedding organization.

Red candles will be placed and lit on the altar of the ancestors. A third and final letter will be sent to the bride's family to confirm the date and time of the ceremony. This letter is also accompanied by presents such as tea, wine, pastries, fruits, etc.

On D-day, the suitor’s family once again goes to the future bride with presents contained in an even number of red boxes. They maintain a certain distance from the bride's home and send two people to offer the presents to the girl's parents.

The red boxes will be placed on the altar of ancestors. Then, speeches will be made by both families standing on each side of the altar. The groom’s family will be given the floor first, then the bride’s.

At the same time, the bride’s waiting in her room for her mother to take her to the altar of ancestors to join her husband. Her father then burns incense so the ancestors would bless the union and act as witnesses.

The exchange of wedding rings is done later in front of both families, after the groom's mother has offered jewelry to her daughter-in-law. The newlyweds then will bow down to the altar of ancestors to demonstrate their willingness to unite and to start a new family.

This ceremony gives way to another during which the bride is taken to her husband's home. Once in his house, the wedding is again celebrated as it was done at the bride’s but this time without the presentation of different presents.